HERE I AM. ALL OF ME. IT IS TRULY SCARY.

Worried that a rapidly growing population would put a drag on economic development, China introduced its One-child Policy limiting most families to having one kid. While the policy was effective in curbing birthrates, it produced long-term unintended consequences culturally, economically and socially. This new system led to the devastating, widespread abandonment of infants. I, along with 160,000 of others, am a product of this system.

In 2003, I was left nameless on the orphanage steps of a rural village in southern China. In 2004, I was brought home internationally to an American family who lived in the quiet suburbs of Chicago. I grew up in a loving and stable home where my parents have always been open about my adoption. However, no amount of love and support could mitigate the feelings of anger and otherness that I would come to wrestle with into my twenties. 

I grew up being unable to trace any of my facial features to my family or friends, always pausing when doctors would ask, “Any family history?”  I’ve always been stuck in that space between never feeling white enough or asian enough for either communities. Being a Chinese transracial adoptee is a strong dichotomy and a heavy identity to carry; however, I would never change it for the world.

I intend for this body of work to be a reconciliation of my past. This is my declaration of love to the little girl who feared she was never enough, to my family who always showed me I was enough, and a lament for those who have been left behind. 

As I continue to reflect on my abandonment and all of the things I carry, I hope this story and this work can be a refuge to those who need it— truly.


THE VIETNAM PROJECT

Contracted by the WELS Multi-Language Productions, the Vietnam Project is a series of children’s illustrated Biblical stories that offers aid to the WELS mission in Vietnam. Each story is a two-page set.


INK & GRAPHITE


PRINTMAKING